


The Big Gay Revelation

by lilolilyrae



Series: Chaotic Alignment [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Coming Out, Figuring out his sexuality, First Time, Former Danny/Melissa relationship, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre Steve/Danny relationship, fuckbuddys to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-04 04:16:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14011989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: What it says on the tin





	1. Freakout

**Author's Note:**

> why do I, a female gay, write so much fucking slash? I think bc with femslash I'd realise just how bad it rly is
> 
>  
> 
> I came up with this in the middle of the night while I was supposed to be sleeping so yea no quality to be expected here  
> Do tell if you find any obvious mistakes tho

 

Danny doesn't show up to pick Steve up with the Camaro as usual, and he doesn't answer his phone either.  
That alone isn't enough to arise Steve's suspicion, maybe he's just on the phone arguing with Rachel again while having to bring the kids somewhere.

When Danny doesn't show up to work at all, Steve does get a bit worried. They don't have any open cases right now, but it's still out of character for Danny not to be in the office before lunchtime and without as much as giving a call to tell them what's going on.

He goes into the communal room to find Jerry hunched over the touchscreen.  
"Jer, you know where Danny's at?"

"Uh, no, boss, thought you'd always know that? Wait, did something happen?"

"Probably not, calm down Jerry. Still, can you pull me the GPS data of the Camaro?"

"Sure thing boss"

  
While Jerry goes back to work, Steve's already thinking about what else he could check, always ready to need a plan B.

"Looks like he's just on the road somewhere, not moving though..." Jerry points at the blinking red dot on the map.  
"Need to call backup boss?"

"I don't think he's in trouble- I know where that is"

 

Steve flings his car keys in his hand and gets ready to leave right as Kono walks in.

"What's going on? We caught a case?"

"Nah, but Danny's missing... can you call Melissa for me, check with her whether she knows what's going on?"

"Sure."

 

 

 

* * *

 

Danny's sitting inside his car, parked on a viewpoint looking over O'ahu.

He's shivering, not knowing what to do, and it _kills_ him.

 

He hears an engine of a car pulling closer, not thinking much of it first. But the car doesn't drive by.

 

Steve.

Of course.

 

The other man exits the car, so Danny climbs out of his car as well, knowing that if he doesn't, Steve would just get into the Camaro with him. And Danny doesn't think that he can be in such an enclosed space with the other man right now.

 

 "What's going on, man?"

Steve tries to pat Danny's arm, but Danny shrugs away, starting to pace back and forth on, ignoring the beautiful view of the landscape to look at the groud instead.

 "Danny! Hey, Danno, now look at me, you're scaring me man"

Danny comes to a halt with his back to Steve, hunched over, hands in his pockets.

He's breathing erratically now, close to a panic attack probably. He hasn't had those since middle school. 

 

"Danny?"

Steve sounds so fucking careful. It makes Danny break inside a little more.

He drags a hand over his face, and then once he starts talking he can't stop, but he still doesn't manage to quite get to the point either, not yet.

  
"I'm awful, I'm fucking terrible is going on, and I need to tell Melissa, but I can't even fucking /face/ her right now, but I can't keep lying, I can't keep lying Steve-"

  
"Okay- okay, danno, calm down-"

Steve walks around him so they're facing each other and brings his hands up in a gesture that's probably supposed to be calming, but all Danny can thing is how he doesn't want him to see him cry.

Also, did Steve learn all his fucking calming techniques by dealing with terrorists or some shit? Fucking typical.

Then he notices that Steve's talking again.

"... going on? Did you cheat on her? Which, okay, shitty, but I'm sure if you'd just _tell_ her, and it's pretty obvious you're being angry at yourself for what happened so I'm sure she'll believe you it won't happen again..."

  
"No! No. I didn't cheat. I _never_ "

He starts to laugh hysterically while still fighting the tears.

"I never even..."

"Danny?"   
Steve's hands stop hovering in the air in front Oh him and come down on his arms, but Danny immediately wrangls out of the grasp. 

"You wouldn't fucking get it okay?"

He's just so _angry_ , and in his anger as he's stalking away he needs an outlet, and he doesn't want to start fighting Steve, the stupid SEAL would win anyways, so he just punches the stone wall of the viewpoint instead. 

As the pain in his hand registers in his brain and he grumbles, he can't help thinking he'd have better punched Steve. 

 

"Danny?! Danny what the fuck?  
Hey, Hey! Danny!"

 

He cradles his hand to his chest, breathing irregularly between sobs.

Steve carefully pries his hand away from his body to get a better look at it.

"Danno, this is broken, you need to go to the hospital...  
okay- deep breaths- come on, give me the keys, I'll have Chin and Kono pick up the truck"

He guids Danny into the passenger seat.  
"Should I call Melissa, you want her there with you?"

Danny just starts to cry and hiccup again.  
"I- no, I"

"Alrighy, alright buddy don't you worry, it'll all work out"

 

* * *

 

 

In the hospital, they find out that Danny will have to go into surgery, it's not a clean fracture. 

 

In an already drugged state, Danny clings to Steve's hand.

"wll yu stay here?"

"sure buddy" Steve smiles down at him as his phone rings "I gotta take this, so if you could let go of my hand please pal? But I'll be here when you wake up, I promise"

 

  
Kono's on the other end of the call, asking whether he found Danny.

"Yeah, he's okay- well not _okay_ he's in the hospital-" ( _what?_ ) "calm down, he just hurt his hand, he'll be fine."

  
"Okay boss, keep me posted... I gotta call Melissa, she was quite upset when she heard he's been missing..."

"I got it! I mean, I'm just waiting here anyway, you go back to work Kono"

"If you say so boss..."

 

Steve sighed. This would be one hell of a call, but if Danny didn't want his girlfriend around right now for whatever reason, Steve would make sure that she doesn't show up and cause the other man any more grief.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.dailynews.com/2014/01/27/plan-a-trip-to-oahu-to-see-locations-from-the-tv-series-five-o/  
> I'd really love to do this... if only I had the time and money
> 
> You can find me on
> 
>  
> 
> [tum](https://www.lilolilyr.tumblr.com)[blr](https://www.lilolilyrae.tumblr.com)
> 
> and since recently also on 
> 
> [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lilolilyrae/)


	2. Coming Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta read, tell me if you find any mistakes!
> 
> Comments in general are very welcome :)

Steve calls Melissa right from the hospital hallway, not wanting to let Danny out of sight even further. 

"Steve? Thank god, did you find him?"

"I- yes, and don't freak out, he's going to be fine- he's in the hospital right now, but he's-"

"What?! I want to talk to him, hand over-"

"Danny's in surgery, he's got a broken bone in his hand, but I'll tell him you want to talk to him once he wakes up?"

"What?! What happened, how...? I thought you guys aren't on a case right now? What did he do?"

"Uuuh he punched a wall"

"What?!"

"I-"

"No, on second thought that does sound like Danny, but why did he do that?"

"Um I'm not sure I should be talking to you about this, sorry Melissa"

"Why? Whatever, just tell me where you're at exactly and I'll come by-"

This was the part Steve was afraid of.

Well, not afraid, because he didn't feel anything close to fear this easily. But he didn't particularly --anticipate-- this part of the talk either.

"I think that might not be a good idea Melissa"

"What?! Sorry I feel like I'm repeating myself here but why, Steve? He's my boyfriend, why do you think it would not be a good idea for me to be there for him?"

"Yeah that's the thing. I'm sorry, I don't think Danny's on the same page about your relationship status right now."

"Oh. _Oh_.

So- he cheated on me? Is that why he punched the wall? I mean, okay, I'd be mad at him, but not _that_  mad...M

"No, I asked him that, he swears he didn't cheat... but to be honest, I think he's gonna break up with you"

  
"Oh- oh. Okay. So I really shouldn't come to the hospital?"

"I dunno, I'm gonna ask him again when he's awake, just- stay around yeah?"

"Sure. Sure"

* * *

 

Back in a room with Danny, he knows he should fulfill his promise and asks him about Melissa right as the other man wakes up.

But Danny still looks so disoriented and vulnerable, so he just gives him something to drink and tells him to go back to sleep.

Then he texts Kono that everything's alright and to go home and not wait for him to come back, sinks into a chair close to Danny's bed and dozes of as well.

  
"Steve?"

Danny sounds slurred and half asleep, but his eyes look wide awake now.

"Hey buddy" Steve smiles at him, sitting upright again. "How you doing?"

"Better, I guess" Danny coughs a little, and Steve hands him the glass of water again.

 

"So... Should Melissa come by? She knows you're here, sorry, Kono called her earlier to see whether she knew where you were, so we had to tell her..."

Danny groans.  
"I- fuck, on the one hand I don't think I can deal with her right now, but I also just want to get it over with, ripp off the bandaid once and for all"

  
"Want to tell me what's going on?"

 

 

  
And the thing is, Danny doesn't want to tell anyone, but given that he feels like he has to, he also wants Steve to be the first to know. Even if that just means torturing himself a little more.

  
He starts to hyperventliate about to overthink everything again...

Then he looks up at Steve, who looks like he contemplates saying something, but knows Danny's just gotta work himself up to saying it himself. 

  
_"I'm gay!"_

There. now it's out. It feels like everything is frozen around Danny while he's waiting for Steve's reaction. 

  
"Oh  
So- _gay_ gay?" Steve asks.

Danny just looks at him with a pained expression on his face, so he quickly ..---.. 

"Nah man don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with you being gay, I just wanna know, like, are you sure that you're only into men? Cause, Melissa..."

"What do you mean only, of course I'm only into men, I literally just told you I'm gay! That just means I'm not into women, not straight!"

"Well, I guess, but you could also be into both..." 

Danny looks at him with wide eyes like a deer in the headlights. 

"You're kidding, right? That's not even a thing"

  
"Uh no that does exist buddy, there's even a word for it- several actually"

"Oh. Uh, okay I guess? Well, still, I'm not that. I think."

Steve nods at him "Okay, you sure? You've been _married_  to a women for years Danno..."

  
"I am sure okay? Let it go"  
He drags a hand over his face.

 

"Alright, so- do want Melissa to come? I told her to stay close so-"

"She's at the hospital?"

Seeing how frightened Danny looks, Steve immediately backtracks.  
"No- I mean, don't think so, I didn't even tell her where you're at- just, you know... around...  
Uh, and, and I'm really sorry it just slipped out, I told her already how it doesn't look good for your relationship, sorry, I know it wasn't my place to-"

"No no- makes it easier to tell her actually. I think."

"You Know you don't have to tell her why you want to break up right? You don't have to tell anyone anything else"

"I think I kinda do, though. I owe her that much, I just..."

"Okay- ok, so, you want to call her, or, you want me to call her...?"

"Would you call her? Please? I don't think I can go through any of this twice"

"Sure thing, hang in there buddy"  
With a pat on Danny's shoulder, Steve leaves the room, already typing on his phone.

Looking after him, Danny can't help thinking _'I love him so goddamn much'._

* * *

 

 

Telling Melissa is easier, now that he's already used the word out loud once.

  
Gay.

  
Melissa looks surprised for a moment, but then just says  
"Oh- okay, well, thanks for telling me?"

  
"You know i owe you that much"

  
She smiles. "You really don't."

For a minute they sit in silence, neither of them knowing what could be left to say.

Then Melissa speaks up again.  
"You told him?" She motions in the general direction of the door, indicating that Steve is probably still around. Danny can't help but feeling glad about that fact.

  
"Course I did, we're partners, we tell each other everything" 

  
"Yeah? So you also told him you're in love with him?"

  
Danny splutters "What? Why? What makes you-?"

  
"Oh come on, Danny, it's really obvious, you guys have always been closer than us have been, and if you're into guys... That just explains a lot"

  
"But _he'_ s not into guys."

he notices himself how pained he sounds, making him cringe even more.

"Oh honey..."  
After a second, Melissa decides to change the topic and adds:  
"So, I guess I'll have to find myself a new flat then?"

"Uh, yeah"  
Danny scratches his head. He hadn't even thought about their living arrangements at all during his freakout.

"I mean, you can stay first of course, i wouldn't just kick you out like that- I'll stay at Steve's again, you can take all the time you need..."

"Oh quit that bullshit, I won't let you stay there and torture yourself even more, Danny" Melissa laughs.

"Okay, so... I could sleep on the couch at our- I mean, my? place, if that's okay"

"We have a perfectly fine guest bedroom, Danny, I'll take it. We'll be fine, we've always rather felt like friends with benefits than lovers...  
So... friends?"

"Sure" Danny nods,  relieved.  
He thinks he truly doesn't deserve this woman- even if he was straight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice that the characters use words like "Uh" a lot, s just cause that's a pretty good description of how I feel atm
> 
> sorry


	3. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what I'm doing anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I haven't said this enough before: I mostly watch random episodes of H5-0 on TV, I have literally no clue what happens in what order and I don't even remember who Steve's together with while Danny's with Melissa, so yeah don't try to compare any of this to canon'verse too much xD
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter in particular:  
> Hate crimes against LGBT (off screen, but the characters are reacting to it);  
> Mentions of violence  
> Don't read if that will hurt your mental health! I'll post a quick summary of the important plotpoints in the notes of the next chapter so you'll be able to keep reading :)

Despite Steve's good reaction to him coming out, Danny hasn't told anyone else about his sexuality. Partly because he was afraid, but mostly because he thinks it doesn't matter, he doesn't plan on doing anything about it after all. Mostly because who would be his target if he did ever dare to go for it...

His hand has finally healed, and Danny's just glad no-one asked too much about what happened and that now he can go back to business as usual.

* * *

 

 

Walking into 5-0, Danny sees Kono frowning down at her phone.

"What's going on? Trouble in paradise?" She just shakes her head shows him the article on screen

"I don't even know why I'm still reading this, it's not in our jurisdiction to do anything about a case like that... But isn't it _horrible_ that that really happens everywhere, could hit everyone..."

The first thing Danny sees is a photograph of a woman, beaten bloody on the ground. On closer inspection however he notices that really it's a man, no, just a boy on the ground, in drag, wig askew and still in high-heels. He takes the phone from Kono's hand, scrolling back up.

What he reads is horrifying. 

Beaten to death, possibly raped (how does the press even know that already? Or do they just write what seems interesting?), body probably torn apart postmortem, no leads, in a normally okay-part of town...

They don't explicitly mention anything about the boy being gay- probably trying to avoid being seen as homophobic and failing horribly at it, Danny thinks- but it's still making it very obvious that what happened is a hate crime.

It completely shakes him, he feels nauseous, barely manages to give Kono her phone back before excusing himself and entering the nearest office. Thankfully, it's empty, and he hopes no-one will come go follow him.

Leaning his head against the wall, he tries not to cry.

 

When the door opens again, he's ready to snap at Kono to just leave him alone, not caring what she might think. But it's Steve instead, and he has an uncharacteristically kind smile on his face. Probably asked Kono, saw the article and put two and two together... But he doesn't care about the reason when Steve asks him if he asks want to get out if there. He just gladly accepts.

* * *

When Kono sees Steve lead Danny out of the precinct by the arm, the way Danny shields his eyes, the way Steve smiles at him before grimly looking ahead... Her mouth falls wide open. Now this was something... And it explained a lot, no wonder did Danny react this badly to the article- and it was probably also the reason for his weirdly paranoid behaviour over the last few weeks, he was afraid they'd be found out!

* * *

 

Steve even lets Danny drive, sensing that the other man doesn't feel like arguing right now. He doesn't complain about his raging --Fahrstiel-- either- then again, Danny's angry driving still isn't half as bad as Steve's normal one, so it's quite possible he doesn't even notice.

They end up at the same viewpoint as the one Steve found Danny a few weeks ago. It has become a safe space for him in Hawaii.  
He feels the same kind of emotions like that day as well, anger and sorrow, only this time not directed at himself- and yet even worse, because this time it's mixed with grief as well.

For a while, they just sit there in silence, both lost in thoughts.

" 'Could hit anyone' my ass" Danny finally blurts out. "I mean, what Kono said. She doesn't get it, it couldn't have been anyone, just anyone like _me_ and I'm so angry, and I'm so afraid, and I just- that's why I'm not out, okay? I mean, it's not, but like, in general, because of shit like that's it's the way it is and just- and just- _"_

"I get it-"

"NO YOU DON'T! None of y do, and I know it's not your fault but don't pretend like you _get_ it when it's just empty words, okay?"   
Danny was close to tears now.

"Actually... I do get it. Danny- I'm bisexual."

"Wwhat?!"

"Look, that's why I maybe got a little weird when you said that that doesn't exist when you came out to me, because it does exist, I'm it. And I know I should've told you, Danno, but I just got so used to ignoring that side of me, don't ask don't tell and everything, plus I'm with a woman at the moment anyways, and you didn't even know that that exists before so I didn't want you to think I was making it up to pretend to get you...  
But I do, and I get this, too, I really do."

"Then why aren't you angry?" Danny asks, and now he can't hold back his tears anymore. 

It's not just the anger at the article anymore, but all of it.  
His own insecurities, and then there's Steve, and apparently he has more of a chance with him than he thought, only he doesn't, and why is he even thinking about that right now- it feels like some sort of sacrilege, with that boy dead.  
Plus Steve _lied_ to him. It's just all too much.

"I _am_ angry" Steve puts his hand on Danny's arm.  
"But you're already crying, and if I'd let my anger show right now we'd both be crying, and-"

"And we can't have that right?"

Danny Starts to laugh between sobs.

Steve drags him into his arms, and they hold each other tight, savoring the feeling of safety.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just not able to write dialogue that's anything but cringeworthy. Sorry.
> 
> Btw I'd like to think Steve's pansexual but didn't want to confuse Danny even more in that moment. They'll get to it.
> 
>  
> 
> [tum](https://www.lilolilyr.tumblr.com)[blr](https://www.lilolilyrae.tumblr.com) [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lilolilyrae/)


	4. He loves me, he loves me not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny is an oblivious doofus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who chose not to read the last chapter: Steve came out to Danny as bisexual, and Kono suspects that something is going on between the two men, while really Steve is still in a relationship with a woman and Danny thinks he doesn't stand a chance with him either way.

The feeling of their relationship changes little after that, it's just the fact that they know that they have something else in common, and given that they have already done almost everything together, nothing can make them closer without crossing the line to a physical and/or romantic relationship.

And Danny is certain that it will never come to that.

  
So how they act around each other doesn't change at all at first, they still bicker and Danny ocssionally gets mad at Steve over yet another suicide mission and all, and they always know that they're alright.

Then Steve breaks up with Lynn.  
It's sudden- at least for everyone else. Danny only hears about it from Kono the next day.

"Hey Danny" she gives him a sly smile.

"Kono, what's up?" the way she's behaving around him is slowly freaking him out, especially as he doesn't manage to figure out _why_ she's doing it. Like she's fangirling about his life or something, while there really isn't much to hype about his boring old existence.

 "Sooo" now she's honestly grinning at him. The fuck? "Now that Steve and Lynn aren't an item anymore...."

"What? What are you talking about?" Maybe he does have a chance with Steve after all? Danny's thoughts are immediately spiralling into fantasies he doesn't usually allow.

"You didn't know?" now she sounds honestly confused.

While Danny doesn't care about Kono's weird behaviour right now, her confused words do bring him back to reality.  
Steve broke up with Lynn? Or she with him. But when did that happen? He'd even been at Steve's place the last evening, pizza and beer, nothing unusual.

Is it possible that it happened after he left? Or just this morning? But then how did Kono find out about it? Steve hasn't even been in the office yet, starting the day off following a lead with Chin.

Why would he tell Kono but not Danny himself? Now that he thinks about it, it is weird that Steve is away with Chin without even asking Danny whether he wanted to come along. They are partners, damnit! Is Steve avoiding him? Maybe he thinks that now that Steve is single Danny won't 't be able to keep his gay hands to himself. That has to be it. Steve obviously still doesn't like Danny as more than a friend, and was afraid that Danny was going to try something and ruin the friendship. Well, then he just had to prove the opposite.

* * *

 

Steve feels torn: he knows that he likes Danny, but he has no idea whether he should act on his feelings. After all, he already had those feelings for years now, and became quite used to ignoring them. When Danny was just his straight best friend, he talked himself into believing that he could find his own happiness elsewhere, and with Lynn he had been certain that he was on a good way.

But then Danny came out to him. Steve still didn't know what to do about it besides telling the other man that it's okay to be gay, so he didn't do anything else. But at this point he really knows that he can't ever be truly content with Lynn or anyone else without trying to be with Danny first. The thought of a --never taken chance-- would eat him from inside.

So he decides to do something about those feelings after all. And despite not yet knowing what exactly he gotta do, he knows one thing for sure: he doesn't cheat, ever. 

He _has_ to break up with Lynn.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week is hell for Danny.

He alternates between being overly friendly and putting an emphasis on words like 'buddy' when talking to and about Steve, and being uncharacteristically reserved towards the other man. He knows he's acting weird and probably not helping his case at all, but he can't help it. He can't just go back to normal either- after all, he was driving Steve away when doing so.

On Fridy, the invesigation leads to a chase with several drug-dealers around street corners, and despite usually hating ordeals like this, Danny kind of loves how it forces him and Steve to interact like nothing happened.

Still, once he gets home that day and Grace is safely asleep in bed, he decides to do some research on how to act around his partner to make him believe that he isn't into him. He ends up googling 'How to tell if you're in the friendzone', and while most of it is bullshit, he's inspired enough to try a few things to appear all buddy-like around Steve and maybe even manage to hang out with the other man a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A friend of mine made a [petition to ban conversion therapy](https://www.change.org/p/supreme-ban-conversion-therepy-in-b-c) where she lives in Canada, would be cool if you guys could sign and signal boost this!
> 
>  
> 
>  


	5. Confessions at night

Over the next days, Danny tries to use his new-found knowledge on Steve. Talking about dating other people, who do they think is attractive- just superficial stuff. Drinking beer together, not touching much except for manly hugs and handshakes... He also thinks about actually going out there and dating again, but he wouldn't even know what to _do_ with a guy, and he's not about to go lie to some poor girl again- plus, Steve knows he's not into women at all. No, just being friendly will have to be enough. 

It seems to work. He even gets Steve to meet up with him one evening, after having been ignored the week before.

Danny says he can play wingman for the other, given that Steve just left a relationship and clearly needs to get back on the horse. So Instead of going to one of their usually bars, they decide to go clubbing. Because really they're not _that_ old right?? Of course It can only go downhill from there.

In the middle of the night, they end up completely wasted going to a gay-bar on the outskirts of town.

Drunk as they are, they're clinging to each other while entering the bar- and of course they're mistake for a couple.

"Hey, why don't you take your boyfriend home? I think he's got enough for the night" the bouncer tells Steve when Danny nearly falls face-first over the doorstep.

"m nooot his boyfrien" Danny slurs.

"Hesssingle you couldate hm" he tries to push Steve into the arms of the poor guy that doesn't even know what's happening. 

"Why me?  I llready have the number of- whatsename Danno? Huh? Whasabout you Danno? You haven't got laid inages" Steve wrangles his way out of the grip of the bouncer who is basically holding the both of them upright at this point, and pushes Danny completely into the arms of the other man.

"There!" he looks really pleased with his work, while Danny splutters, turns beetred, backs away and nearly falls over again.

The bouncer sighs and shouts to the bartender to call the two drunk guys a taxi.

Those two, however, don't even notice anything beside themselves.  
Danny's now leaning against the wall next to the door, Steve way too close in his personal space. He's really trying to tell himself that it doesn't mean anything, this is just Steve being Steve... But it's hard for his drunk brain to believe that while he can feel Steve's breath on his face.

"Why don't you wanna go out with someone Danno?"

"Don be annying Steeve" he covers his face with his hands, slithers down the wall a bit, needs his hands to catch himself, and then decides to just squish his eyes shut to ignore his partner and his annoying questions. 

Steve pokes him in the cheek, hard. Danny squeaks. "Spouuse abuussse, spouse abuse!" 

Steve tilts his head and looks at Danny intensely. "Thought I wasn't even your boyfriend Danno"

"Yare not!" Danny looks at him, completely confused. Then he remembers what he just said and feels a blush cover his entire body.

Steve grins at him, and Danny tries to look away, but Steve's eyes suddenly seem huge and they're _right there._.. He's completely transfixed, can't even tell whether the funny feeling in his stomach is still the alcohol or just Steve.

Then a car honks, and the moment is broken.

"I believe that's for you, boys" the bouncer helps them to the taxi, and luckily Steve still remembers his address. 

He then ends up half on top of Danny on the back seat, not even bothering with the seat belts- Danny does feel like something should be bothering him here but isn't quite able to place what, and Steve never cares much about such mundane things like car safety anyway. So close together, Danny can't help but snuggle a little more into Steve's shoulder.

They don't talk much on the ride back.

 

Once they make their way into the house, Steve is annoyingly sober again. Well, at least compared to Danny. It's an unfair advantage. 

"So, are you gonna tell me why you don't want to go out with anyone?" Steve asks Danny while handing him a glass of water.

"Never said that" he mumbles into the glass while trying to take a sip and promptly chokes.

Steve pats him on the back. "So, you do want to date?"

Danny squirms in his seat. _Unfair_ , that Steve is sober enough to interrogate him while he's still so drunk he can't fight back.

He can't tell him that part of the reason he doesn't feel like dating are his feelings for Steve. And he can't just tell him nothing either, because Steve's stubborn and he isn't stupid, he'll know something is wrong and figure out that Danny's basically in love with him...

So he obts to tell him the other part of the reason, embarrassing as it is.

"I've never even had sex with a guy before" he blurts out.

"Oh" Steve looks a little thrown, like that isn't at all what he expected.  
"So, there's a first time for everything?" 

"But usually that first time isn't at fourty!"

 "Huh. I guess so." Steve sits down next to him on the couch. For once, even he seems at a loss for words. But maybe it's just because he isn't completely sober yet, either. 

 "Well, you're not getting any younger, so what are you waiting for?"

Danny gives him a dirty look. "I'd like to! But what if I start dating someone and he won't- he won't like me anymore when he finds out? And I can't just have a one-night-stand, I wouldn't know what to do and just leave the guy unsatisfied!"

"Well, that's his problem then?" Steve shrugs. Danny wishes _he_ could be as blasé about this. 

"I couldn't do that. Would feel like lying. And I so ain't gonna tell someone about it before either."

Steve suddenly sits up straight: "But you just told me"

"Huh?"

"I just mean- I mean, if you wanted to, I- oh, nevermind. You're way too drunk for anything right now anyways."

"Ooooh" Danny opens his mouth and doesn't know how to close it again. "You mean we- you mean-"

"Go to sleep Danno" Steve gets up, throws a blanket at Danny and walks to the stairs.  
When he turns around after a few steps to check on the other man- the lack of complaints is really uncharacteristically- Danny's eyes are already closed.

He smiles.


	6. Ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve's kind of philosophy might as well self-boycott his love life.  
> (^is there a better word for that?? I feel like there should be, but I'm _sO tIRed_ )

When Steve wakes up the next day, he has a massive hangover. 

He groans and wants to roll out of the bed to get some water when he remembers the events of the last night.

It makes him freeze mid-motion and he lands face-first on the carpet. He hopes Danny didn't wake up from that.

Danny, whom he had nearly thrown himself at last night.

 

 

* * *

 

Over the last few weeks, the other man had been nothing but trouble to him.

After breaking off with Lynn, Steve had been hit with the realisation that most likely, Danny wasn't even into him like that, and he had tried his best to ignore the other man while figuring shit out for himself.

But then Danny had started acting weird.

At first, Steve had felt confirmed that Danny doesn't like him back after all- but when it got weirder and weirder, he remembered how Danny's brain tends to work and thought maybe the other man was just overcompensating his own insecurities.

 

So when Danny asked him to go clubbing last night, he accepted, ready to try and find out what Danny wanted from him.

But Danny didn't make a move. Instead, he tried to set Steve up with every good-looking person approximately their age. It was infuriating. But Steve still wasn't sure how to break it to Danny that it was him he was interested in, so instead he played along, and then- when he got drunker- tried to set up Danny as well, thinking maybe that would make him break the game first.

Only the other man didn't want to be set up for an entirely different reason...

* * *

 

With the latest information, Steve's kind of glad he didn't try harder to get the two of them together. 

Of course he already knew that Danny only just realised that he is gay, but it somehow never occurred to him that it also meant that Danny had never... _Been_ with another man, at all.

Obviously, Danny's still just figuring himself out. With that in mind, the idea of starting a relationship with the other man now just seems wrong. Like he'd be taking advantage, knowing everything while Danny probably doesn't even know what he himself likes. And that's the last thing Steve wants. Sure, at 5-0 he makes a point of being the superior despite being partners, but that's just on the job. For a relationship, he likes to be on the same level with his partner, it's why he likes dating other men best, so there's no stereotypical roles anyone tries to fill, and it's why he mostly went for other military types when it comes to dating- probably why his relationship with Catherine lasted the longest, despite her being a woman.

So what should he do with Danny now? He has to keep trying to get Danny to go out with guys for real if he wants them to ever be even close to the same level of experience. Which of course could lead to Danny actually falling for someone else... Still, he'd rather the other man be happy than trapped in a relationship with him.

But then the last conversation of the evening comes back to his mind.

Danny being so self-conscious about his first time with a man. He'd love to show him how good it can be. And frankly he wouldn't trust anyone else with Danny, not while the other man doesn't quite know what's the right way to it.  
Steve's heart aches when he thinks about how he won't be able to be there for him in that experience... Then again, why can't he? That would not be an actual relationship, that would just be helping Danno out- as a friend. And with the way Melissa tends to explain Danny and her going their separate ways while managing to stay friends - ' _we really always felt like friends with benefits instead of lovers anyway'_ \- Danny can't really argue that it will make things awkward, given that it makes him experienced in casual sex with friends...

The more he thinks about it, the less unreasonable does he consider the last words he said to Danny yesterday. 

* * *

 

When making is way downstairs, Steve can't decide whether he hopes for Danny to remember last night or to have forgotten everything. 

At least he doesn't have to worry about the other man having slipt away- the way he knows Danny, he's probably still fast asleep and once he wakes up he'll be too hangover to move fast or silently anyways.

 

And he's right, Danny is snoring face first on the sofa. Steve can't help but chuckle at the sight.

He decides to make coffee first and then go on his morning swim after all. With coffee ready to cure his hangover, chances are good Danny will stay should he wake up while Steve is in the water.

 

Running into the waves, Steve immediately starts to feel better.

There's just something about being in the water, muscles starting to ache, that makes him feel human again, despite nursing a hangover. 

Part of him tries not to think about Danny, while the rest is trying to figure out every possible reply, every possible outcome, every possible reply-to-the-reply-of-the-reply, as if this were a case.

He notices that he starts to overthink it again, and he really has better things to do, so he heads back to the shore.

Quickly rubbing the towel over his hair and body, he makes his way to the house.

 

Danny is waiting for him on the patio.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tum](https://www.lilolilyr.tumblr.com)[blr](https://www.lilolilyrae.tumblr.com) [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lilolilyrae/)


	7. Warm-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are so bad at feelings. So. Bad.

"So, hey." Danny greets him at the veranda, arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey Danno" Steve scratches his head.

"So... Thanks for the coffee, I guess. Needed that." he doesn't quite meet Steve's eyes.

"Bad hangover?"

Danny just groans in answer.

For a while they are just standing there, and it's getting more and more awkward by the second. They don't know how to get to the topic, Danny perhaps trying to ignore it entirely, yet it is obvious to both that if there was nothing to talk about, they'd never be awkwardly standing there anyways.

Steve decides to better acknowledge the fact as fast as possible. 

"Danno- about what I said yesterday, I"

"Don't worry, I'll forget it, that was just drunk you trying to help me, I get that you didn't mean it" Danny is stumbling over the words.

"Actually... I wanted to tell you I meant it. Just helping you out as a friend of course, because you said you've never- and only if you'd want to..."

"Huh?" Danny doesn't even know how to close his mouth anymore. 

"Is the thought of being with me so unappealing?" Steve laughs, trying to break the tension by making jokes as usual. But it doesn't seem to work as Danny just grows flustered.

"No, I mean, you are- you're definitely looking good, I mean, I just, so I wouldn't say _unappealing_ , but I mean you're my _friend_..."

"That didn't stop you with Melissa, from what I heard?" He knows of course that that's just the story they tell, that it was differently in reality. And he knows Danny knows that he knows. Still it's the easy way out he can give Danny to not yet acknowledge any additional feelings.

"I mean, we could also just find someone else, if we go to the right place bet I can find someone to pop your cherry and not make a big deal about it" he winks at Danny "But seriously, you'll be okay, I know you're freaked at the moment cause it's so late for a first time, but trust me it'll be alright. It doesn't have to be me, that was just an idea because I thought you might rather try it with someone you know first..."

"No, it's- I'd like it to be you. I trust you."

 

Internally, Steve is squealing and grinning and celebrating, but he doesn't let any of it show. This is about Danny, not himself. 

Oh so you do trust me now? Cause I distinctly remember you had some things to say bout trust at the training course last week-"

"Oh whatever" Danny swats his arm. "You know what I mean. So, we're doing this?" He looks at Steve expectingly.

"I- yeah, I mean- wait you mean, right now? I thought you were still hangover"

 Danny shrugs. "I think coffee and this talk just cured me. Plus, it'll just be a learning experience right? Why, are you still hangover? You know you shouldn't be going swimming then, it's really irresponsible and-"

"I'm okay Danny chill. But I dunno, I think sex should always still be something pleasant, so if you're not feeling well-"

"I'm fine. Promise." 

"Alright, so." Steve steps around the other man to get into the house, glad that Danny can't look at his face for a moment. "How do we do this? I mean what do you want to learn?" 

He turns around, leaning against the wall.

"I dunno. I mean, damn I haven't even- I haven't even _touched_ another guys dick, let alone- I mean-"

"Okay. Ok, then, how bout we take that as a starting point?"

"Sure" Danny shrugs.

"Okay, I- yeah, I'll just shower real quick, you probably don't wanna touch me covered in salt water... And, uh, imma use the upstairs bathroom so you can- freshen up? Down here? Yeah" Steve could swear he has never felt so awkward in his life.

Of course, the 'salt water' is just an excuse, he doesn't really want to scare Danny of with talk about cleaning out his assholes, and while he has no idea how far they will take it today he'd rather be prepared.

When he steps out of the shower, Steve can her Danny rummaging around in the bedroom. Knowing the other man is in his private space makes him feel giddy, which again makes him feel alienated, because 'giddy' is something to describe teenagers with, not grown men. He doesn't know what's gotten into him. Danny's been in his bedroom before, they've even practically lived in each others pockets for quite a while.

But it had never been the built-up to something else, like today.

 

He contemplates putting on boxers, or wrapping the towel around his waist again, but then decides if his naked body is gonna freak Danny out it better be sooner than later.

So he walks to the bedroom butt-naked, leaning against the doorframe and looking at Danny, who's sitting on the bed in his underwear- Jesus, does the man honestly wear long socks in this weather? -and doesn't even notice Steve at first.

"Hey there, socks in sandals" he announces his presence. 

"I wasn't wearing sandals, you know that, why would you even-" Danny looks up. Freezes. Averts his eyes. Looks back at Steve's crotch. His face is the colour of a very ripe tomato.

Oh, Steve is gonna enjoy this.

 

* * *

 

 **A/N** I'm sorry if the lack of a proper sex scene was disappointing to anyone, but it's still a T-rated fic, so... You wanna read pwp, set your filters right.

That said, I hope y'all enjoyed it! Honestly tho, does anyone want the smut despite my often already shitty attempts at writing none-smutty human interactions? Let me know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](https://www.lilolilyr.tumblr.com) | [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/lilolilyrae/)


	8. Test Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where did the feelings come from? Those feels the boys are so bad at?
> 
> BEWARE CHANGE IN RATING  
> If you're not here for the smut feel free to skip this chapter

Danny is sitting on Steve's bed, looking positively wrecked in only his underwear. 

He still won't meet Steve's eye, and while he's trying to appear intently focused on some point behind him, his eyes keep jumping back to Steve's cock.

The outline of Danny's own dick is getting more and more visible through his boxer shorts.

Steve is trying hard to suppress a grin at the other man's antics.

 

"You okay there? You know we don't have to do this, Danno?" Danny jerks his head in a nod, still not meeting Steve's eyes.

"Well but if we do, you do realise you're gonna have to do more than just look at my cock, do you?" Steve drawls. He loves the way Danny jerks at the word 'cock'.

 

"I do get that" Danny presses out through his teeth, hands clenching and unclenching on the bedsheets "It's just- damn, I'm really fucking nervous okay? I've never done this, and to be honest this, now, is exactly what I've been afraid of when thinking about doing this with someone else, and I thought you _got_ it, and that you wouldn't make fun of me, and- fuck, and I swear if you ever bring any of this up anywhere out of this room, I, I-" Danny stops rambling, helplessly looking at his hands.

"Fuck, Danno, I'm sorry"

Awkwardly, Steve sits down on the bed next to him, making sure there's enough space inbetween so they don't touch anywhere so as not to scare Danny of.

"I wasn't making fun of you I swear, just teasing, you know s just how I am... But I'll try to cut it out now, I don't wanna hurt you. If you still want to continue. And I won't ever mention it to anyone either way, I won't tell anyone about it either if that's what you're afraid of. Thought that was a given"

"Yeah, I- damn, sorry Steve I'm being stupid"

"No man, I get it, you're not stupid and there's nothing to apologise for" 

Hesitating for a moment, Steve then claps Danny on the back encouragingly, then wrapping his arm around the other man.

After a second, Danny relaxes into the touch and leans into the other man. He promptly freezes again at the skin-to-skin feeling on his side, and Steve's ready to let him pull away, but then Danny relaxes and basically snuggles into his side.

While that is definitely better than being frightened, it also takes a step in the dangerous direction of this being more than just two friends helping each other out.

To get them back on track, Steve lets his hand wander down Danny's side to his boxers.

Danny shivers, and stands up for a moment to get rid of his underwear entirely. 

They end up lying on top of each other on the bed, and while it's still kind of awkward, the heat of sex is clouding their minds enough so they don't really care.

Danny is getting more sure of himself, exploring Steve's body with hands- and mouth.

He ends up nosing at Steve's cock. Fuck, he's actually gonna give another man a blowjob. He has no idea what he's doing, feeling kind of ashamed about it, but it's _Steve_ , and he knew what he was getting into.

Steve gives moans of encouragement, all the while telling Danny how good he's doing and which moves he likes particularly well. Danny starts jerking himself to the litany of obscenitys from Steve's filthy mouth.

Suddenly it all hits him again, that this is Steve he's doing this to, who he's touching like this. That Steve lets him do this. The thought is electrifying, and he comes all over his hand.

Embarrassed at finishing before managing to get Steve off, Danny gets back to sucking the other man off. He's got Steve reduced to a bundle of curses and jerks, sure that yes, he'll manage this, when- a phone rings.

Startled by the sound, he pulls off, then groans when he realises it's Steve's phone, display showing Kono's face. They're being called in. Danny sets his head on Steve's calve and chuckles weakly. Damn, it's as if the universe is cockblocking them. Well, the universe most likely in form of some maniac murderer.

Danny expects Steve to immediately jump into work mode, forget about sex and answer his phone, but he doesn't. Apparently the entire situation is so out of the usual that even the Super-SEAL can get to the phone late one time. Or, well, maybe that's how he always does it when being called in while in bed with someone... Danny feels an irrational jealousy of all the others Steve slept with surge through him, all those people that might've been not-quite cockblocked by a business call.

Then Steve's hand is touching his cheek and Danny forgets all thought of jealousy, because he is here, right now, with this absolutely wonderful man.

Steve, once he has gotten his breathing back under control a bit, takes Danny's left hand and wrappes it around his thigh.

"You want me to stop, just let go and I will"

Danny's about to ask him 'stop what?' when Steve takes his own still hard and leaking neglected member and shoves it back into Danny's mouth, and Danny has to grab Steve's leg, hard, to remember to _not fucking let go fucking Ever_ because there is nothing he would want less than for this moment to end.

Then Steve starts fucking up into the heat, once, twice, grabbing Danny's hair, shoving back in and out another few times until coming to a halt and spilling down Danny's throat.

 

With a gasp, Danny pulls away. His throat hurts, and he thinks he left bruises on Steve's thigh, but he wouldn't want it any other way. And judging from the way the other man is currently looking at him, Steve definitely feels the same.

Steve brushes a strand of hair that sweat glued onto Danny's forehead back, and Danny blushes.

Then Steve seems to remember what's going on and he quickly rolls over to answer his phone, naked ass on display.

"Mcgerett?"

Danny can't help a smug grin at how fucked out he sounds. Steve turns around, sees and throws an earlier discarded sock in his face.

Danny has to muffle his laugh with his fist so whoever is on the other end of the line won't hear.

 

"Gear up, there's a dead guy on the beach" Steve says when putting down the phone, and from one second to the other, they're back to normal.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I even... What am I even....  
> Urg hope you liked it


	9. What are We

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At this point I could just title this entire thing 'Emotionally stunted Idiots'  
> #lovesickloones #somebodyhelpme
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is pretty T-Rated again, mentions sex but nothing explicit on-screen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THAT THIS IS SO SHORT bur my window shutter is broken and I had to try and at least force it all the way down so I could sleep... And Before that I was stuck in uni for 8 hours, so yeah :s hope you still like this piece!

The case that started that day soon turns out to be exhausting.

Their first culprit is guilty- but not of the original crime. Three days in, after car chases and way too many interrogations and probably building up paperwork for over a year, they're back on zero. 

 

At the beginning, Danny had been glad about the distraction, because he doesn't quite know what to make of this new fuckbuddy relationship with Steve. But by now, the case is tearing on his nerves. And if Steve throws himself into unnecessary danger like jumping from a _bridge_ onto a _driving vehicle-_

"I swear to _god Steven..._! _"  
_ This man is gonna be the death of him either way, and Danny really hopes it won't be by Steve dying himself.

 

After another week of trouble, they do catch the right bad guy, leaving Danny with a black eye and Steve with a cut on his arm that he swears is just a scratch and doesn't need medical attention. 

They all meet up at Kamekona's for dinner, but mutual agreement is they leave early, everyone's way too exhausted to stay up late. Danny leaves as well, leaving Steve alone with his truck and no idea where to go.

Now that the adrenaline of the case is dissipating, Steve's mind wanders back to what he and Danny had been up to right before it started. He won't bring this sex thing between them up by himself now, kind of hoping that maybe it was enough and Danny will go out with others now, getting some more experience and then, hopefully, finding his way back to Steve. 

 

Steve does go home after a while, kind of hoping that Danny will show up there despite leaving earlier, all the while cursing himself for that though. But Danny doesn't show up at the time he usually does, nor an hour later. Steve ends up sitting on the downstairs lanai, looking at the water, getting lost in his thoughts as the waves roll on. He's tired, but he knows he won't sleep, so he might as well enjoy the view and drink his beer.

 

Then he hears the Camaro in the driveway. It's late, Danny probably didn't plan coming over, probably didn't even know he was until he did... 

Was lost in thought, knows engine everywhere, agitated but doesn't show, gets second beer from freezer and sits back down as if nothing happened. Giving Danny an out, so can just sit down with him like always.

 

Danny stomps through the house until he's standing in front of Steve on the lanai, and Steve half expects him to go on with his rant about Steve throwing himself into unnecessary danger, but Danny just keeps standing there, staring at him, and right as it's threatening to get weird, Steve already wiggling about in his chair, edging to say something, Danny speaks up:

"What are you even getting out of this?"

It should be confusing, or at least surprising, after all they hadn't talked about _it_ since over a week ago, but Steve knows exactly what it is about. 

"What I can't help a friend out without an ulterior motive?" He tries to joke, but he knows that in this case he definitely has an ulterior motivation, and he really doesn't want Danny to know just how deep he's into this...

"No, honestly" he goes on "I get good sex out of it, with a guy that won't talk bullshit about it, and you need the lesson so I'm happy to give it, I mean come on if you kept being underfucked and jittery you'd manage to get both of us killed... and I'm no stranger to casual sex in a friendship, ya know? I know people didn't believe Cath could be into that because she's a woman, but we managed alright..." And It had been his own feelings that had been hurt in the end, not hers. Yeah, he's just gonna get his heart broken again, is he? Whatever, he'll take what he can get.

Danny seems to take his rambling as a satisfying enough explanation, puts Steve's beer away and pulls the other man to his feet.

"I still haven't actually had gay sex yet" he grumbles, blushing adorably. 

"Oral sex is sex Danno" Steve smirks.

"Whatever" Danny walks up the stairs in front of him and Steve hastily follows. Now he's glad he prepared himself earlier despite not really expecting Danny to show up.

Danny has other ideas however, after they're undressed he's passing the lube back to Steve and lying on his stomach in the middle of the bed " _That_ way would just be like with a woman, I want the real deal".Steve stops him there: "It's really not the same Danno..."

Danno doesn't face him and mumbles something into the pillow.

"Danno? I didn't quite catch that" he has to sit on his hand to stop himself from carding his hand through Danny's hair.

"I said I have no idea what I'm doing so I'd rather you do it first" Danny says, still muffled by the pillow but this time at least audible. 

Steve smiles.

"Only if you're sure" he bites back the 'Danno' at the end this time, feeling like he said the endearment way too often already. 

Danny nodds into the pillow, so Steve clicks open the bottle of lube and starts to prep him.

He tries to get his emotions under control during that, and when he's sure  that his face isn't showing how much he feels for Danny anymore, he makes the other man turn around. That's another thing he wants to teach the other man: when you know and trust (and love) there person that's doing the fucking, this is really best done face to face.

And then they both feel that it really, really is.

 

They fall asleep still tangled together, and Steve can't bring himself to stop the cuddling this time.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not very smutty for being a fic about fuckbuddys to lovers, but man I barely finished this chapter today without making it explicit, so... Anyone wants to write those parts thar are just mentioned here in a complete way (I feel like there's a word for that kinda fic??), feel free! I probably won't get back to it anyways.  
> Just tag it 'inspired by...' of course :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	10. Power Imbalance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still reading this? If not it's probably gonna stay a wip

When he wakes up again, it's still in the middle of the night, but Danny is awake as well. Steve can see Danny eye him in the light falling into the room from the hallway bulb that they forgot to turn off.

"Hey there" his voice is husky from sleep. 

Danny grins at him. "Energy restored, babe?"

Steve groans. "You're not seriously going for round two in the middle of the night?"

"What? Last time we were interrupted before we got anywhere, so I figured we better be quick- and since we're both awake..."

Steve laughs "Can't argue that logic, buddy. But what exactly did you have in mind? I thought I've given you all the lessons already"

Danny's grin is shark-like. Steve's heart speeds up at the sight. 

"Welll" the blonde drawls, "We didn't do it the other way around yet... And you did say that it's different to with a girl, so I better practice, right?"

It's flirty, and not at all --- anymore. Steve knows it, knows that he should just shove Danny away and tell him to go find a different hole to fuck in some pub or whatever. 

But he can't bring himself to it.

He takes a deep breath "Well, I definitely ain't no girl, am I?"

Danny laughs "I better hope so, and also that doing this doesn't make you one- cause I'm definitely still feeling very manly after last night"

"It's still the same night, Danno... And I dunno, the way you're a head shorter than me, I could definitely take you out as my lady for the-"

"Oh I'll show you lady!" Danny laughs, which is what Steve wanted, given that it breaks the flirty tone of it a little. 

They wrangle around, and Steve doesn't put up much of a fight, so he ends up on his stomach, Danny straddling him.

The other man stops there, not moving and just holding him down. "You want this?" It's barely more than a whisper, yet Steve has got the feeling that Danny makes damn sure that it's audible. 

"Yess" He closes his eyes and gives in to pure feeling. 

 

 

Afterwards, Danny rolls off of him, brushes Steve's hair out of his face, and gets a damp towel. Steve's glad he's got a reason to keep laying there for a moment, afraid his face will give away too much. Because Danny is truly fucking amazing. Literally and figuratively.

After Danny cleaned them both, Steve turns around, and one look at Danny's face tells him he needs to get them back on track friendship-wise. Because Danny is looking at him outright admiringly, and they're supposed to be equals goddamnit! 

So he asks him stuff like what kinda guys Danny's into, whether Steve should still be his wingman, where they should go to pick up someone for a first 'proper' fuck with a guy.

And talking about it, he notices he doesn't mind the idea of Danny sleeping with other guys so much any more. It might be primal and caveman mentality, but now, after being Danny's first, Steve feels he's staked his claim alright. 

 

So they go back to their new normal, going to work, going to clubs. 

It seems almost as if it could work...

 

The next time hanging out at Steve's place, however, gets awkward.

It's a Sunday afternoon, Rachel had the kids and they don't have a case. Unspoken agreement means Danny shows up with food and Steve has the beer, and they sit on the lanai or in front of the TV, just chilling. 

They both know changing that tradition would mean acknowledging something is off. Steve doesn't want to, not yet, and Danny is way too afraid of rejection. 

Deciding the TV is the lesser evil, as there at least they don't have to talk to fill the silence, Steve turns it on to some game while Danny's rattling about in the kitchen.

 

And it works, at first. They talk about the case, about how Grace got in trouble in school - _immunity_   _doesn't apply to school children, Danno_ -, drink their beer and, for a while, they actually manage to forget the weirdness.  
A little too well maybe.  
They start a fight for the remote that soon gets physical, and when Steve ends up on top of Danny, _not_ remembering is out of question.

He quickly rolls off of him, mumbles something about cartoons not being all bad, and goes to fetch another beer. But the damage is done.

 

The next day on the job, Steve and Danny are desperately avoiding each other. 

Kono, observant as always, notices and just walks into Steve's office.

"What's going on with you and Danny? Got a little domestic, boss?"

She's been teasing them for a while now, which is really not making the situation any easier. And now her assessment of the situation is painfully accurate. 

Something of it must've shown on his face, as Kono goes to close the door and walks up to him.

"Hey, Steve, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" He really doesn't know how to explain _that_ to Kono.

"You know I'm not a homophobe, right? You guys could just tell us that you're together, if that's why you're in such a bad mood"

"We're not together, Kono" He's just so exhausted. 

"You're not? Wait, you're serious?"

She seems honestly shocked. He just nodds.

"But you're constantly flirting, and you _clearly_ love each other, and I just thought-"

"Danny only just realised that he's gay, he needs some time to figure this all out, I wouldn't want to pressure him into anything, or be like a superior for him at home as well-"

"Oh my god, you men are so stupid" Kono snorts out.

"What?"

"You do realise that you didn't deny it? Being in love with him?"

Steve feels the need to cross his arms over his chest, but he knows Kono would just tell him that it makes him look like an angry fifthgrader, so he just glares at her.

"And for the part about pressuring him into anything- you do realise you can't actually talk Danny into something he doesn't want? And you're never really his superior, not on the job and definitely not anywhere else, you guys are partners! Damn, Steve, do something about it! The moping is getting impossible to take."

She stomps out of his office right as Chin and Danny come back, Chin giving Steve a look as if saying _what did you do with my Cousin_ , and Steve innocently raises his hands. Danny walks over to Kono without giving Steve as much as a second glance.

 

In the evening, thinking the others have already left, Steve is sorting through the papers on his desk. He's honestly considering to just say Fuck it all and go to Danny's place. And like, kiss him or something. He's terrible with words, but he also doesn't want to miss his chance. Simply kissing Danny might just make him think of it as a continuation of their fuckbuddy thing, and that's the opposite of what Steve wants... 

He's torn from his thoughts when fast steps echo through the bullpen. Hand grabbing his gun, Steve is surprised when Kono pushes open the door, looking out of breath. 

"He's going on a date!"

"What?"

"Danny! He's going on a date, and it's a guy! Jesus Steve are you waiting until it's too late on purpose?"

Fuck, now he's gotta act fast.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly leave me a comment if you wanna see how this continues! I've got ideas for some other fandoms I want to try, but if sbs still interested in this one I'll keep posting, I do already have a summary for the story so... Yeah


	11. Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny's POV of the last chapter + ...more :]
> 
> Contains some swearing bc... Danno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH @ EVERYONE COMMENTING ON THE LAST CHAPTER!!!  
> I'm glad y'all are still here reading, cause I want to see how this plays out as well and apart from the rough outline I only find out what those idiots are up to once I write them doing it :D

After sleeping with Steve for the second time, Danny is feeling completely lightheaded. He's laying on his stomach in Steve's bed, watching him sleep, arm thrown over Danny's back. The gesture seems possessive to Danny, but of course it could just have been an automatic reaction to cuddle up to the closest body in his sleep.

But the way Steve had been looking at him while fucking balls-deep into his body... There had been a glimmer in the other man's eyes, and Danny can't help but hope that he will get more than just a quick fuck from him. That Steve has feelings for him.

So he is bold and, once Steve wakes up again, asks him to go another round. And when he fucks Steve, it's making love, and the way Steve whimpers to him, completely letting go underneath Danny, giving all the control to him... It feels like Steve knows.

 

Of course the spell doesn't last long, and once the light is back and they're clothed again Steve is completely his old self, joking around and asking Danny to go out with other guys.

It hurts, the underlying rejection. 

But Danny still has hope that maybe Steve feels the same way and is just as reluctant to do something about it as he is himself. So he gives in, and they go out together to bars and clubs and Danny tries to study Steve while the other man is so insistand on him going home with other guys.

And it seems like Steve is sincerely happy about the way things are going. So he tries to be happy as well. And to get lucky. 

 

He's thought about pretending to go home with a guy just to have Steve back off before, but he just knows that Steve would be able to figure out the lie sooner or later, and that would just lead to even more awkward questions. 

But now that he's actually thinking about getting laid, Danny also wants to make sure that Steve can see just how much fun he has. It's a bit petty, maybe, and stupid as well because he _knows_ that it's not gonna hurt Steve at all, that it's just what the other man wants him to do, actually. Still. This time it's Danny dragging Steve out to a club. It's weird at first, the flirting, and maybe he's a bit more awkward than the last few days, because now he actually wants to achieve something. But it still works.

Danny's first-ever one night stand is a guy named Brook- isn't that a girl's name? Who's two heads taller than Danny, definitely more experienced than him, and probably completely able to see through his bullshit. It's still good, though. Better than Danny would've expected a casual sex could be. Because no, what he had with Steve can definitely not be counted as casual sex.

So he does it again, going out to get laid, sometimes even without Steve. He mostly tops, despite actually liking the feeling of being on the receiving end more. Because he can't stop remembering the amazing feeling of Steve under him, submitting to him, being with him... Nothing, no-one comes close to recreating that. Fuck, he's still totally in love with the man.

And he can't help it, Danny can't shake the feeling that maybe he still has a chance with Steve. It's what stops him from really letting go, from ever giving a guy his number, taking someone to his own place or going home with the same guy twice.

He tells Steve about his sexcapades- only the parts that he hopes would remind the other man of what they had, and details he think might make hin jealous. Tells him he found out he likes to bottom, too. He can't get over the hope that one day he'll get a reaction out of the other man.

 

Until one day, while talking to some hot guy at the bar he considers going home with, Danny sees Steve on the dancefloor. He's groping some guy, and then as if he can feel Danny looking, he catches his eye and grinning encouragingly before turning back to the guy he's slow-dancing with.

It just breaks Danny's heart.

He knows he was just fucking delusional, Steve will never see anything more than a friend in him, and if he ever wants to get over him he better actually start looking at other people. 

But not tonight. Danny briefly excuses himself to his flirt, makes sure Steve doesn't see him leave alone, texts him he's taking someone home so Steve better not show up and ruin it.

He does go home then, and he just takes the nearest bottle of alcohol straight to bed. His eyes are burning, but he only notices just how much he's crying when he can't see where he's going anymore and nearly crashes into his bedroom door. He fumbles with the handle and just collapses on the bed with a sob.

 

The next morning, the first thing he does- well, after taking xanax for his hangover- is downloading a dating app.

Fucking online dating of all things. But he really has no idea how else he would be supposed to find other gay guys that are willing to date instead of just fuck.

It works surprisingly well: while yes, there are quite some creeps and people that want to fuck but are apparently too lazy to even go to a club to pick someone up, and Danny sees some unwanted genitals, but he also soon has a dinner date for the following monday with a nice man named Josh, who tells him that he works as a public defendant. It's a job that, while knowing not much about what it actually entails, Danny feels might be similar enough to law enforcement that Josh might understand his own weird hours and the importance of his job.

 

Persevere that now, everything can go back to normal with Steve, Danny shows up at Steve's place on Sunday.

Steve's got a game on the TV, which is a bit weird given the warm weather inviting them our on the lanai, but Danny tries not to read too much into it. Instead he makes easy conversation, making sure not to call Steve 'babe' even once, talking about their latest case, work in general...

Danny even forces himself to open up a bit about what's going on in his personal life and tell Steve about Grace's shenanigans, despite feeling like somehow Steve doesn't deserve to know things like that at the moment. But it's supposed to be like it used to be, right? And he always lets Steve in.

After a while, Steve seems to thaw, and they're joking around and clinking beers like usual. When the game's over, Danny considers it safe enough to snatch the remote and change over to a kids channel, "Because Charlie was watching that and it kind of ended on a cliffhanger, okay Steve?"

And Steve laughs and tries to snatch the remote away from him, and they're play-fighting for a bit, Danny's really glad that at least they can still be good friends like this- except when Steve ends up on top of him, Steve suddenly freezes and hastily leaves the room.

Danny's jaw drops at watching the retreating back of his partner. What the fuck was that now?

Steve is weird for the rest of the evening, and maybe Danny leaves a bit sooner than usual, but he just can't take any more of it. So, Steve's so afraid Danny's gay ass is gonna make a move on him, he can't even wrestle with him like a normal fucking person? Well, he's got a date, and maybe he'll tell him or take the guy out to meet the team some time just to show Steve that he shouldn't bloody bother. 

A small part of his mind is asking him whether maybe, Steve reacted like that because he'd actually like Danny to make a move... But no, he's been over this, and there's just no fucking way.

 

 

On monday, Danny ignores Steve, mostly just because he has no idea what to do with him otherwise, and also because he is still mad at him for being an idiot, despite also thinking that the anger is irrational. 

As the team notices that they won't have any break-through on the case that day, the suspected main evidence won't be sent from the lab until the day after, Danny gladly leaves early.

He runs into Kono on his way down.

"Hey, thought you'd left already?" 

"Hey Danny, I was just gonna grab my phone- wait, you letting the boss man here all alone? You guys should talk, seriously"

Danny shrugs. "Probably. But not now, cause I have a hot date to get to"

Kono's face does something complicated. Does she know? Is she, somehow, able to read from Danny's face that he wasn't going to meet a woman, but a man?

"Do I know her?"

Just having considered the possibility that she will ask him about a guy, now that she doesn't it somehow shakes him even more...

"I, uh..." Something must show on his face, as Kono just nodds, pads his shoulder and steps around him to get to the office. He stands frozen there for a few seconds before pulling himself together. He has a date to get to.

 

* * *

 

 

Danny's sitting on the terrace of the restaurant, replaying the first few minutes of the evening while Josh is inside to order two more drinks to their table, as the waiter seems too busy to check the outside tables.

As they arrived, Danny had automatically pulled out the chair for his date, then feeling awkward because he didn't know how a guy would take such a gesture... but he needn't have worried, as Josh just smiled sweetly and took a seat.

He asked Danny whether he was out or not, making it obvious that he didn't want to date in hiding. Danny assured him that it's not a problem- "I wouldn't have chosen this spot to meet otherwise, would I?" while avoiding to answer directly about whether he's out or not. While technically saying yes would be a lie, it doesn't feel like it. After the entire drama with Steve, being gay feels like just a part of his problems. And Danny had really thought so much about his sexuality in the past week that it kind of got normal enough, and he doesn't even care too much about others knowing. Especially as the benefits of Steve being friends with him again definitely outweigh any doubts he still has.

Danny's rapidly torn from his thoughts by an all-too familiar voice. Of fucking _course_ Steve somehow has to manage to crash his first date with a guy. Bloody typical.

"Hey Danno, got stood up?" He's leaning against the railing leading up to the terrace, looking amazingly handsome even though he's definitely underdressed for the environment. Damn, Danny is fucked. While he's still thinking about what to say, Josh comes back, and Danny can't decide whether to feel relieved ot disappointed.

"Oh, who's your friend? And here I thought you were on a date, partner"

"Partner? And actually I am his-" Josh starts to explain, but gets interrupted by Steve.

"Oh yeah we're cops, that kinda partners- so, I thought I knew all of your friends, Danno? Or did you meet that one through Melissa or some other girl?"

Danny's jaw drops. While Josh is looking back and forth from Steve to Danny, Danny can see how Steve cringes a little. Okay, so at least he knows what an ugly move that just was.

The waiter comes bearing their drink, and Steve, feeling bold, asks for glass of wine for himself. Obviously determined to break up this intimate togetherness, he drags another chair to the side of table and sits down with them as the waiter leaves.

Now that does seem to shake Josh out of his prior stupor, and he snarls at Danny:

"Maybe try to be a _little_ truthful next time"

Danny splutters helplessly, not knowing what to say. He does know, however, that the lack of hurt- apart from the embarrassment- he feels at watching Josh's rapid departure shows just how much he still only feels for Steve.

Except right now he's also furious at the other man.

"What the fucking fuck was that Steven? You made Josh think I'm some closeted hermit or that I have a girlfriend or something! What's your problem, you oblivious neanderthal!? You made me look like an idiot!"

Steve just says "Sorry for that, but not sorry for what I did" and he sits down in the chair in front of Danny, "I kind of had to get rid of the guy before it was too late-"

"What???"

"Because I want to be with you."

Danny notices his mouth gapes open, but he can't remember how to close it.

"You heard me-" Steve takes his hand in both of his over the table, and that shakes Danny out of it.

"People will see!" he tries to draw his hand away.

Steve looks hurt. "You didn't care about what people would think with the other guy..."

"I don't! And I didn't say that now because because of me, stupid! I know you really aren't out, and you always knew you're into guys, so you don't have my excuse..."

Steve blushes. He fucking _blushes_.

"Yeah, I just got so used to it in the Navy, and I guess I can't deny that I'm afraid of what people think, maybe I do care too much... But you'd be worth it, Danno, you're worth anything to me, you gotta believe me"

Danny's taken aback by how the super SEAL is actually admitting to having _feelings_ , let alone _fears_... But he can't dwell on the thought for long, because Steve is awkwardly standing up and bending forward over the table- and it's as if it's second nature to him to stand up and meet him half way.

Then Steve somehow went around the table and is kissing him for real, and Danny can't help it, he's fucking melting against Steve, grinning into the kiss.

But he's still mad at him of course. There will definitely be yelling. Later. And when Steve kept up whatever it was he was doing with his tongue, maybe he won't be yelling at Steve for a while at all.

 

 

They end up eating what Danny and Josh had ordered, because Steve says he doesn't want the food to go to waste, although Danny feels it's more the date-atmosphere he wants to salvage. 

When they'll be going home, it might be awkward, and even if it's not there's the lingering fear of jumping back into what they've done before.

But Danny isn't afraid. Now that he knows that Steve loves him- well, he's known that before, but that Steve is _in_ love with him as well- he knows it's going to be alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I kinda feel the need to count the amount of 'fuck' said in this chapter xD  
> Hope you liked the ending, I thought about writing some smut here but it was already such a long chapter and the kiss felt like a good way to end a part... More smut to come when I continue writing, if you want me to :]
> 
> Comments and Kudos make my day :)
> 
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**Author's Note:**

> So, you may have noticed that I made this a series :) thought the end of thus chapter was a good way to bring this part to an end, so if you want to see more of this, subscribe to/ bookmark the series :)


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